She yanked on her uniform and rushed to the window and hoped on her zipewire, she speed throw the trees and landed in the glistening white sand on the beach. She clampered into her boat and sailed to a large island called Mogadeshew. She ran along the cobbled windy streets and Mary finally came across Mogadeshew school. Mary sprinted to her class room. She looked at the clock in the class room, 9:01..... she made it!!
Hello Rebecca, what a way to travel to school - I am sure it would be better than your bus rides, unless it was raining!
ReplyDeleteI am impressed how you included sophisticated verbs - action words - like clampered, yanked and rushed. It makes your writing more exciting.
Hi again Rebecca, thanks for reminding me about Pobble! So many awesome photos to choose from for writing. Have you seen some of the incredible photos of how some children get to school in other countries? I wondered if that have given you some ideas for your story as well.
ReplyDeleteYou've created some great visuals in the story too Rebecca - helps the reader picture it!
Thanks
Miss J
Hi Rebecca, I agree with Miss J, your story reminds me of the remarkable way some students get to school. There was a high school student who lived on a boat moored out in Nelson harbour he rowed from the boat in a dinghy to the wharf then walked to school. Some of the students at Rai Valley Area School came by long windy road trips to school. Its interesting comparing different regions in NZ.
ReplyDeleteHi Rebecca,
ReplyDeleteDid you know that Mogadishu is the crime ridden capital of Somalia but none the less a great story.